Gordonzola - That food will try and kill you

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September 21st, 2006


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08:38 am - That food will try and kill you
"How many hamburgers have poo poo in them?"

It was early in the morning. We were in Daly City even though most of us were coming from San Francisco to take this Food Safety Manager Certification class and test. We were in some kind of city/industrial park/retirement community/public ball field thing like they have down there. It was all cinderblock and metal chairs. As a group, we were under-caffeinated.

"Poo poo" made us stir a little as it was undoubtedly intended too. The teacher asked if anyone knew the correct cooking temperature for ground beef. Someone roused themselves to answer, "155 degrees for 15 seconds". The answer was right there in our copied booklets. He threw a mini Snickers bar to her as a reward for answering and almost beaned her in the head since it was the first question of the day and no one knew the teacher would be throwing things at us.

I thought there would be an incident before the class even started when an early 20s guy delivered a clipboard to the one "hot" girl in the class, i.e. the one woman who was in her early 20s and wearing stylish clothes. I couldn’t tell by context if he knew her or was just trying to impress her. About five minutes later another woman returned to the room starts yelling, "Someone stole my clipboard! Where’s my clipboard? And my pen. And my (blank sheet of) paper. Who took it?" No one admitted anything. I mean, I would have said something if it had been something of value but since these things were all provided by the Department of Public Health for the event, I didn’t really see the point. The teacher found her some new supplies and we all started watching the slides projected on the duct taped bed sheet by the state-of-the-art 1984 overhead projector.

The State of California requires that any establishment that prepares food must have one person on staff with a Food Safety Manager Certification. Our old one is expiring this year and I drew the short straw. I didn’t really mind. I haven’t taken a standardized test in, uh, two decades, so it was kind of a retro thing for me. The funny thing is that so little of it applies to me or our store. We don’t carry meat or make prepared food which is about 95% of the exam. And at cheese conferences I’ve gone to more than one workshop on developing HACCP programsby dairy scientists so I’m pretty familiar with all the food borne pathogens and their dangerous ways.

I don’t wanna say it was a waste of time. I learned a lot, just not about my work. California actually has some of the loosest standards for food prep workers in the country. As I mentioned before the cheese conference, in Oregon anyone touching food needs a license. My Texas co-worker talked about a grueling ordeal of a week’s worth of boring classes. Here; four hours and I should get a certificate in the mail next week.

The only mention of cheese, besides which pathogens like it, was in the section about when to refuse a delivery for health reasons. Under "Acceptable Dairy" it read "Cheese: Uniform color, no mold". I can think of a number of cheeses accept every week that don’t follow that literal definition, but the class was clearly lowest common denominator. To his credit, the teacher, employed by the DPH, gave out his phone number to discuss workplace specific issues if we had any questions about our set ups.

And I really did like the guy. He used words like "poo poo" and "fecal smear" to keep us awake but didn’t ham up the E-Coli outbreak which I had expected. He also gave us great statistics like that according to a national survey 75% of men and 55% of women don’t wash their hands when leaving the bathroom. When someone tried to probe deeper into that statistic he said something like, "That’s a little philosophical for this class" and moved us right along.

In fact, I liked his illustration of the dangerous temps for hazardous foods so much that I’ve reconstructed it. This includes the cross-out because the government changed the danger zone to only go up to 135 degrees instead of the old standard of 140. Isn’t the food borne pathogen trapped in the ice cube so cute you wanna take him home!

food temp danger zone028

(57 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:crazyrants
Date:September 21st, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC)
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at first glance, i thought your illustration was of a giant party zone penis.
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 03:53 pm (UTC)
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Are you saying I'm not a good artist?
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Expand
[User Picture]
From:afellowwaitress
Date:September 21st, 2006 03:55 pm (UTC)
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California has loose standards for food prep? ON0eZ. I eat out -all- the time...
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:01 pm (UTC)
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well, it's somewhat regulated by state and somewhat by county. But yeah, SF is pretty lax. in some SoCal counties, they test workers for hep before allowing them in food production, for example. That would never happen here. At least until some big outbreak.
[User Picture]
From:rfd
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:05 pm (UTC)
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Wanna trade standardized tests?
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:08 pm (UTC)
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No. my test was easy. ;)
From:albatrossity
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:05 pm (UTC)
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that illustration IS genius

thanks for entertaining me as I caffeinate myself this a.m.
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:09 pm (UTC)
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That's why I liked the guy so much. I did add a couple of things but the FBP smoking a joint was his!
[User Picture]
From:thomasroche
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:09 pm (UTC)
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That is about the cutest damn thing I've ever seen. I loved this.
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC)
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cute and educational.
From:ms_famewhore
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:51 pm (UTC)
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That pathogen phallus is just beautiful beyond belief. As if I needed a reminder as to why I'm stalking you in that friendly cyberspace sort of way.
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
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ha. you know, I just went back and checked the original. The cropping when I scanned it definitely made it more phallic. heh heh.
[User Picture]
From:theodora
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:53 pm (UTC)
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Thanks so much for this!
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC)
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I'm just trying to save lives here.
[User Picture]
From:lli
Date:September 21st, 2006 05:33 pm (UTC)

I hate the spinach game

(Link)
Food Borne Pathogen Party Zone looks rather like an episode of Tales Of the Blode.
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 21st, 2006 05:37 pm (UTC)

Re: I hate the spinach game

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I had to look that up. ha!
[User Picture]
From:markedformetal
Date:September 21st, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
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I believe I need the FBPPZ drawing as a tattooed backpiece.

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 22nd, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
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omg, I would totally chip in for that.

xoxo
[User Picture]
From:sdn
Date:September 21st, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC)
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i love the partying pathogens!
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 22nd, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
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Who doesn't love partying pathogens?!?
[User Picture]
From:trixiefirecat
Date:September 21st, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC)

¡peligro!

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i don't want to alarm you, but there is a spikey cactus dangerously close to that penis. take caution!
[User Picture]
From:slit
Date:September 22nd, 2006 12:14 am (UTC)

Re: ¡peligro!

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That was my first thought! I saw penis head, and then, wait - oww!
From:thisisthenow
Date:September 21st, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC)
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Unrelated to this post (though I'm glad that I'm not the only perv in the cesspool who thought the diagram was of Teh Gigantic Cock attacking the desert), have you ever tried Ascutney Mountain raw milk Alpine Style cheese? If so, I wonder what you think of it. It tastes lovely to me...the wife got it as a gift for me the last time she was in VT.
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 22nd, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)
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no, I haven't. I didn't make it there when I was in VT.
[User Picture]
From:freshwater_pr0n
Date:September 21st, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
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When I grow up, I want to be a food-borne pathogen!
[User Picture]
From:kest
Date:September 22nd, 2006 12:00 am (UTC)
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In Washington I had to go sit in a government room at a government table with a photocopied booklet and then take a test, for the privilege of making pizzas. (I didn't have to listen to anybody talk or draw pictures, though.)
[User Picture]
From:violentbloom
Date:September 22nd, 2006 12:18 am (UTC)
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Huh, so either san diego has a different standard, or the states rules have changed since 1993. I had to take the food prep health class after my first 6 months working at a bagel place. (I guess its okay to poison people the first 6 months)

That class said only that food needed to reach 160 degrees all the way through.

Interesting things I found growing in the store, which wasn't covered at all, mold lurking in crevices that don't get cleaned, such as inside the cover of the juice machine. *shudder*
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there.


It was really bland. The only two things that stuck in my brain after all this time, probably because they were repeated over and over. Was the cooking temp of 160 and not to put open containers on a shelf under another container that might leak and drip pathogens into it.
[User Picture]
From:gordonzola
Date:September 22nd, 2006 05:42 am (UTC)
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yeah, San diego County has different rules and they have changed since 1993. My diagram was for food out of refrigeration though, not as a cooking chart.

but yeah required internal temperatures
poultry/reheated food: 165/15 sec
ground beef/ pork: 155/15 sec
fish/shellfish/omlettes: 145/15 sec
[User Picture]
From:walktheplank
Date:September 22nd, 2006 02:58 pm (UTC)
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That drawing looks like Joy and Spider!
[User Picture]
From:touchyphiliac
Date:September 22nd, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)
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I actually like the Food Borne Pathogen Party Zone better. Is it intentional that the thermometer looks like a dildo? What's going on with that?
[User Picture]
From:jette
Date:January 16th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
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How did I miss this post?

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