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October 3rd, 2006
11:26 pm - My brain on cheese
I really can't believe I still have a car.
I had to go into work tonight to facilitate the membership meeting which runs until 11PM-ish. I was feeling sorry for myself. I was tired and tired of driving. I had some books to return to  anarqueso, my framed Hunter Safety diploma from 1979, and two wheels of Rinconada Pozo Tomme that had been sitting above ice in the cooler in my trunk. I was distracted. But that's no excuse. I've never done anything like this, if anything I'm kind of obsessive about this kind of thing.
I didn't realize I didn't have my keys until the sound system was put away, the translation headsets were stored, and the chairs were brought back upstairs. I was giving dairryiere a ride home and I kept feeling my pockets trying to find them. "Dairryiere," I said, "I think I locked my keys in the car or left them in the trunk." I started moving faster, not that it would help anything at this point.
Neither was true. I left my car idling at 13th and Folsom for over three hours. With the doors unlocked. I really can't believe it was still there.
I was almost out of gas though. I limped it to the station and put 14.95 gallons in my Toyota. I guess I know it's a 16 gallon tank now.
Why am I posting this on my LJ? because the only reason I'm beating Dairryiere to it is that she is driving to the East Bay right now. I figure if people are going to mock, they should do it in my journal. Help yourself.
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Wow, ok you need to donate some money to charity or something, because you just used up a huge chunk of good luck. That's awesome. Happy Book Amnesty Day, dumbass. I love you. It's all your fault! Damn books. Obviously well into senility. we're not getting younger, G. whhhaaaa??
would-be thieves must have thought it was a bomb. I'm glad you still have a car. :) ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/107280339/185136) | | From: | elusis |
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| Date: | October 4th, 2006 08:00 am (UTC) |
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Wow, that beats my keys story from Saturday by a mile.
Kind of a shame, though - I'd have liked to find out if you could get them to put an Amber Alert out for those wheels of cheese, helplessly trapped in the back while a car thief heads for the chop shop. no fear. the cheese was safely in the walk-in. that's when I got distracted, in retrospect. I would give you shit for it, except that is totally something I would do, no question.
the fact that I haven't yet is merely by chance.
ok you totally beat me
i am glad that you still have a car
wow
at that intersection even
wow I know, right? I won't leave my car unlocked for five minutes if I'm just running in! Forget nearly stolen cars. I'm still reeling at the thought of a co-op creative enough to offer translation for membership meetings.
Bu how did the cheese fare 3 hours in an idling (hot?) car? better than translation, we don't get drunk during the meetings either!
and I had the cheese. In fact, it was the cheese that took my attention away from actually turning the car off. holy crap! you must have a streak of good luck on your side. you'd make a million dollars selling amulets made of Rinconada Pozo Tomme ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/65127598/184313) | | From: | slit |
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| Date: | October 4th, 2006 11:51 am (UTC) |
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My sister had a friend who wanted to get rid of his car so he left it unlocked in a sketchy neighborhood, keys in the ignition, with the title on the front seat. As I recall it still took a while for him to unload it.
Yet ours gets stolen locked while parked in front of our house. It isn't fair. You have inspired me to try to get my car stolen. My guess is that anyone looking at the car might have thought that the owner was Somewhere Real Close since you left the ignition on...
Also, translation headsets, whoa whoa. Thanks! I know all those folks. I think I posted a picture of the Jasper hill aging room (I won't call it a cave). ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/12238571/366114) | | From: | jette |
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| Date: | October 4th, 2006 02:41 pm (UTC) |
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Uhm, just what kind of beater do you drive that no one wanted it? Or does it just smell like cheese? ;-) 10 year old Toyota Camry. But it is mighty mighty dirty right now. Actually, I took it.
I went to a snooty restaurant, a museum, and a Cubs game.
I then put back exactly the where it was when I found it.
Except for the picture of me with your toothbrush in my ass that I hid in your glove compartment. I went to a snooty restaurant, a museum, and a Cubs game.
And you didn't take me?! this is almost as good as beating the stinky cheeses last week.
glad the car is still with you. it appears to me, however, that you'd like it to go away. do you have a regular parking spot? where you live I bet it's a pain in the ass... ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/54356006/3560406) | | | We're on to your secret! | (Link) |
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In the neighborhood where I work, you can tell who the big time dealers are because they leave their cars--or rather, their Hummers, Escalades and Lexuses--running ostentatiously wherever they go. No one dares touch them. oh dear.
i would mock, but when it comes my turn, i'm hoping you'll be on my side and help fend off the hecklers. I don't really have the heart to mock you. I think your head must have just been very full. I mean -- more so than usual. Of course.
That is to say, I've locked my keys in the car with it idling and walked away from it without noticing. Twice. awwww. when it wasn't stolen I sure was glad I had left it unlocked. As someone who would do the same thing, and as yet has not, I would never mock you. Holy shit G, I think you used up several years of SF parking god goodluck in one night. The next time you are driving around your block for hours looking for that parking space, do not curse, just remember that the car you are trying to park almost ran out of gas without you in it! I will try and keep that in mind. It won't be easy. Good fucking job! The car gods are watching out for you.
When I was 17, I wanted a red mitsubishi eclipse convertible when I grew up. I talked about it a lot, and in retrospect it was kind of a stupid dream, but it was one of those things, you know? So after I had been on about it for over a year, I went to the movies with a friend and we were walking through the parking garage when we came across a red mitsubishi eclipse convertible running, keys and everything, with unlocked doors. No one was in sight.
I thought it was a sign from the dog in the sky, but ultimately I didn't claim my prize. wow. that is like spitting in the face of fate. I have never left an unlocked car idlying for 3 hours, but I used to lock my keys inside on an average of once a month. Herein is yet another behavior or interest we have in common, which is herein another reason that we were Meant To Be.
Come now, and lick cheese curds off of my abdomen. My naked cheezyness will wisk your car troubles away. It occurs to me that, when our lovechild is born, there will be a baby registry. And what better gift to request than little sculpted cheese fetuses in every variety? The ones made out of holey cheeses like swiss can accurately represent the possibility of birth defects. You dig?
Or maybe we could have the likeness of the baby's face carved into cheese every year, on its birthday. Then, at its 16th or 18th or 21st or something, we could set out all the baby faces in a buffet style. When all the likenesses are consumed, then our lovechild will symbolically begin its adulthood.
Wow, I'm so on a roll today. Oh, dear Gordon, how I wish we could make sweet sweet love.
Oh, also, I"m jealous because everybody who responded to this post are like badass ljers who've unfriended me. Damn you, cheese mongoul, for your superior lj friend retention skillz! ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/1367961/478458) | | From: | gordonzola |
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| Date: | October 5th, 2006 04:45 pm (UTC) |
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| | Re: Our baby in cheese | (Link) |
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That is a wonderful Idea. I know just the cheese carver too.
I assume if it's a boy it will be Jack and if it's a girl it will be Brianna (Brie for short)
and what did you do to those other LJ folks? |
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