April 25th, 2002


Ripped From the Headlines

The SF Chronicle reported today on the complete banning of alcohol at UC Berkeley's "Greek" Row after many, many problems and complaints. The frat boys and sorority girls are filled with a mix of self-pity and righteous anger over the University's action. Intelligent quotes such as "It sucks" filled the article.

One quote especially caught my eye though. "It kind of makes me angry," one sorority sister said, "because that's the only social life around, basically -- the fraternity parties."

Originally I was planning on mocking. Yes, Berkeley, the Bay Area, the country's 4th largest metropolitan area, "There's nothing to do! It's so unfair!"

But then I realized how fucked up this policy is. Take away the alcohol and the "Greeks" will go elsewhere to find it. Maybe to my neighborhood, my shows, and my bars.

If a university can't or won't eliminate their "Greek" system, I would propose a system of enforced house arrest. Close off the streets in front of their houses. Warn innocents who might pass by accidentally of the dangers of drunk frat boys, their political tendencies (including the racism/sexism/homophobia etc.) and the increased likelihood of molestation and rape in the restricted zone. Let 'em party themselves into a stupor. Just don't let them leave in groups over two people *and* unless they can pass a Breathalyzer test.

For the sake of the outlying communities, don't encourage them to go off-campus by taking away their biggest joy.

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